Name for the last decade: The kooky glasses era
Makers of novelty eyewear have had to be more inventive than usual this year because of the missing double-aughts in the middle of the year. I predict that next year the available strategems will prove to be too strained to come up with a viable marketable product.
Name of tourism advertising campaign: Too beautiful for mortal eyes
Moorea, Tahiti
Movie title: Julie and Julia Sets
Where the young heroine undertakes a life-changing study of the early 20th century pioneers of complex dynamics leading to a better insight into her own understanding of recursion.
Common name for a bird: Mall Raptor
Red-tailed hawk, spotted outside Barnes and Noble this morning .
Brad Pitt’s next film: The Curious Case of Turritopsis Nutricula
Of note as the jellyfish which is able to age backwards and cheat death. Presented in our ongoing effort to keep you up to date on horrifying jellyfish news.
Sequel name: Jesus H. Christ Super-Fricken-Rockstar
The role of Judas 2.0 would be pivotal – played by a metal android with autotune voicebox riding in a monster truck.
Scary movie title: The Giant Tentacled Stomachs That Attacked Japan
Preceded by an educational short on the proper enjoyment of monster ice cream.
Poor Poor Thing 