Well, when you put it that way

Horror film title: Huge Metal Fangs of Ow

Aliens looking at this would be forgiven for wondering why we put these spiky things into our sensitive mouths. (At least in the West that’s what we do.) But that’s good because it helps to give our species a badass reputation.


The dark side

Alternate movie title: The Moon is New



The thing that seems to be missing from the advertising blitz for the film coming out this week is a depiction of the celestial body of the title, which as all skywatchers know would be one off of which the sun’s rays fail to reflect. This is the closest I could find.

I am looking forward to analogous images for Eclipse and especially Breaking Dawn.



In two decades we’ll know what they’ve done

Educational video line: Baby Eisenstein

The Disney company has had to eat some considerable amount of crow with regard to the Baby Einstein product line they acquired a while back, which seems not to do what it was touted as doing. All this infant video watching might have some other effect however, perhaps inspiring some to craft tightly-written family dramas, others to spectacular documentaries, and still others to agonizing historical montages we can only dream of now. Or they could grow to like CGI the way I have not.


My question is: where did I leave the top of my skull?

Horror movie title: The Previously Dead


I have been served brains before, and enjoyed them, insofar as one can enjoy something so similar to hard-boiled egg whites without benefit of deviled egg filling. This was long before people had worries about BSE or Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease and I think I have suffered no ill effect from the experience. Nor any especially potent beneficial effect, along the lines of “the best brain food should be brains,” since after all it was a matter of consuming them, not acquiring a transplant or anything.

I notice that it is possible to buy a brain hat but they really should put on a warning that it intended only for those with short or no hair, which would be bound to spoil the effect. It is just the sort of thing one might wear to see a zombie movie hoping to score a reduced price ticket.